Assorted Thoughts

September 4, 2024

As I close in on going back to full time employment, I’m leaning into this last month of expansiveness in my time. In a recent conversation, one of my advisors reminded me of the importance of balancing my to-do list with taking time for myself. As she said “busy is coming”. Implied: “you don’t need to fill every last moment of this free time.”

So, I stack ranked the list of things I’d like to get done a few weeks ago – none of them were mission-critical (I got those done earlier in my unemployment journey), but they will make future me happy.

After that insightful comment yesterday, I’m going back to my list to see if there are things I want to fit in to bring joy and fulfillment in this liminal moment of expansiveness.

The busy is coming.

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August 27, 2024

Nearing a landing

A bit over a month ago I was holding my breath for a good outcome, and it has come! I’ve signed an offer letter and I’m waiting to hear about the background check results (not concerned, just waiting to hear results). I have a start date a bit over a month out.

Along the way I had to break the news to a really nifty startup that I was also talking to – but we were much earlier in the process. It’s always hard to let someone down.

Now I’ve prioritized all the things I want to get done before I go back to working, and I’m churning away on my backlog: house, coaching, and some time for self-care.

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July 18, 2024

Moving on, Moving on

I’ve been interviewing since before I was laid off. I’ve kept the pipeline up and 2-3 companies in process at all times. Last week I met with a team I really liked, and it seems like that feeling was at least somewhat mutual (the recruiter’s email said things were “trending positive”).

I also interviewed with another company this week and they’ve had the good grace to decline partway through the loop. I knew I was good enough for them, but also that the HM and I didn’t click – and that’s pretty important.

I’m trying not to hold my breath about the first company. It’s one of the few out of all of these rounds that felt really good. I’m hopeful. I think we could do good things together.

I’ve also been filling my pipeline with new opportunities, because we’re still in ambiguity for now.

So for now, I am keeping on keeping on. Resilience is a day-by-day game, one incremental step at a time. It’s not generally satisfying in the daily, but when I think of the progress between now and my previous entry, it’s massive.

I’m centered and calm despite the ambiguity. I’m not crushed by the rejection from the second company. My life is continuing, and things will work out – it’s just a matter of when.

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May 16, 2024

One door closes, another opens

My mother is fond of this saying, and it took me a long time to come to peace with it. It was all well and good that the “another” door was opening, but What If I’m Not Ready To Move On?

  • I still want the door that’s closing.
    • I am happy there / I was happy there

In January I found out my role was being eliminated by my MAANG employer. I jumped through all the hoops to find an internal transfer for 3 months, but nothing came of it. My last day was April 1.

Over the course of Q1 I ran through the FOMO, the grieving, and I thought I’d come out the other side. When I finally turned in my badge and laptop, I told myself I was FREE. After all, I was truly tired. The severance package looked better and better, along with some Time Off to “clear my head”.

I wasn’t as done as I thought. Grief wasn’t done with me yet, and it’s taken another 6 weeks to find the next level of equanimity. Progress takes its own pace, especially when you’re convinced you don’t need it.

One door closes, another opens: here I am, multiple opportunities on the horizon, a growing sense of peace and comfort, and the return of some energy with which to drive towards these opportunities.

Every one of these opportunities is a potential branch in my path that will change the balance of my priorities and impact my strategic plan. Now it’s time to choose which opportunities to prioritize, and execute.

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